More Helicopter Parenting

At the beginning of the summer I was contacted by a neighbor whose son was to start senior year so he was also thinking about college applications. I agreed to read his college essays but when the first versions came to me, I immediately emailed back since the common application prompt he responded to was the prompt from last year. I asked him if he was sure that was the correct prompt since the same one had not been used two years in a row before and also since it was still a little before the new prompt was published in years past. His mother responded that it was the correct prompt.

Now that should have been my first clue that something was amiss since the question went to the son but the answer came from the mother. The other fly in the ointment was that these folks who had never dealt with the common application before assumed they knew all about it. But I went through the process of reading the essay and making suggestions for a rewrite. Like many students, he simply wanted to list all of his accomplishments rather than write an essay with an overarching theme. I pointed that out and told him he would have to rewrite the entire essay, keeping in mind that the prompt asked a specific question and his transcript would accompany his application so he didn't need to list all the courses he had taken. His mother showed up on my doorstep a couple of days later. I have lived here for about eight years now and she had never been to my house before so you can imagine my thoughts. But I answered her questions, gave specific reasons for my previous instructions and sent her on her way. The young man's next attempt was much better but was way over the word limit so I suggested ways to shorten it, emphasizing that any language that did not advance the theme was unnecessary. The third essay was fine and that was that, or so I thought.

My suspicions about the common ap prompt proved correct and the student realized he had to write an entirely new essay on an entirely new topic. Luckily since the previous effort was written in summer and he had no way of getting the transcripts or recommendation letters sent he wasn't completely embarrassed by  his unwarranted assumption. Still, listening to me would have been a good idea. Anyway, the first attempt at the new essay was pretty bad. Once again it was a list of accomplishments and events without any connection so when he complained that he couldn't figure out a conclusion I pointed out that this was because he didn't have an argument or theme to conclude. I suggested that he approach the idea differently and a couple of days later I had a new version in my email. This was much better and he even seemed to have learned a few things from the previous essay experience so the next suggestions were relatively simple and he sent an edited copy the next day, one that more or less passed my critical eye. He asked if he could come over to discuss this final version and we set a date. Lo and behold he and his mother showed up. She promised to keep her mouth shut but that was far from what happened. Still the young man and I discussed his essay, made two very minor changes, and I bade them farewell while also telling him that the worst thing he could do at this point would be to poke and prod at this essay.

So imagine my surprise and horror when the next day another essay showed up in my inbox, a truly dreadful essay that reflected all the comments the mother had made. I went through this version putting commentary in parentheses after each ridiculous entry and sent it back, telling him at the same time that there was nothing in the new version that improved on the previous one but that it was his choice which version to use.  He wrote back saying that he agreed with me but that he couldn't find the final draft of the "good" essay (?) so could I please send it.

Do I think either of these people is ready for the son to go to college? There is sort of a delicious irony to it, though, since this year's common application prompt asks how or why did the student reach maturity. I often wonder if they would listen better if I charged money. I saw in the paper this morning that some people who do what I do charge more than $500 an hour. I am free.